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You are My servant, I have chosen you and have not cast you away. Fear not, for I am with you. Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you. I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. –Isaiah 41: 9-10

It was late in the night when I heard from Him. Not too long I must add after I had asked for His help. You see writing is a special gift the Lord has blessed me with. This blog is an even more special gift, an even more special space that I dare to assemble my many thoughts. And many a times with my many thoughts running up and down, east to west words fail me. Sometimes its as simple as my many thoughts being all over the place. So much going on at one time, and in one brain. And sometimes, its much deeper than that.

In moments such as these, so often the Lord is opening up my eyes, with revelations of thought. And in those moments, so often I can not find the right words to express myself, and it is in those moments that I call on Him for help. And so it was last night. As I lay my head to sleep, I wondered what on earth I would write about today. The Lord had been so gracious to me that day, and had revealed so much to me, yet words failed me. It sure is true what Isaiah writes in chapter 55 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts. Nor are your ways My ways, says the Lord.” What an AHA moment for me. If the Lord being the giver of such great thoughts. Of such great, holy filled revelations, where else can the words to write His thoughts come from but through Him and Him alone. This was the case last night. After trying for so long to figure it all out for myself, I reached that moment of defeat we all have found ourselves in, and in that moment I beckoned to Him, and He heard me.

It was not long after I reached out to the Lord, that the word HOPE came in thought

Write about HOPE

Mmmm...I said to myself

HOPE?

That’s the first word I heard, and then came the words – how healing comes in form of HOPE.

Now that’s what am talking about. Happy and joyful to have found what had taken me so long to find. Yet, was always available to me.

How we find ourselves going round and round the mountain of helplessness, when in fact help is but around the corner.

I don’t know about you, but I so love the Lord’s ways. His direction of HOPE is so indicative of what He has been speaking to me lately about, especially in the midst of everything that I have been witnessing and hearing. More so, so much of what many of us are in need of.

HOPE

 I can not tell you how many friends and people I know of are suffering from cancer, or have passed away. I know cancer has been with us for so very long. Longer than I can even keep track of, yet it’s not until this year that this very brutal illness has found my ears. Am not sure why I have never played more of an active role in this fight against cancer. I think its because of fear, and perhaps because this illness we call cancer seems like this undefeated illness that we with all the powers the Lord has given us, with all our technology are still unable to defeat. Maybe that’s the reason its taken me so long to really give cancer an ear. Yet, in all the years, months that I have not given this illness {that I don’t even like to call out its name}, my ear it has continued to vengefully swipe through our lives and take the lives of many we know.

Another reason why I have not been active in this fight, is because for some reason I always felt that the best activists for this illness are the ones who have been through it and survived, or the ones going through it. I never for whatever reason felt that I would be impactful enough speaking up and fighting against this illness having never gone through it. The best way I can describe this reasoning that now doesn’t even make complete sense, is for example: what better person to speak and hear from than the one who has been homeless and found a home. Or the one who has been involved in domestic violence, and now has found freedom and HOPE to then give it back to others.

That was exactly my thoughts and reasoning. And that voice my friend, played more times than I can remember. It’s that same voice that drives fear into us keeping us from venturing into places where may be God is leading us into. That voice that hold’s us back because for whatever reason we feel incapable of bringing HOPE, and making a difference in someone’s life, especially if it is in territories never ventured. Cancer was that never ventured territory of fear or whatever the reason might be that held me back from playing an active role against it. Not forgetting the feeling that this illness is  some huge undefeated giant, that many had tried and unlike David seemingly failed to defeat. If that is the case, I thought to myself, who am I to try?

My only prayer was that, please God keep cancer away from me and my family. And may be then, I will never have to face this seemingly undefeated giant, and if that is then the case, then my reasoning as it were will undoubtedly keep me far away from speaking up and fighting against this so called gigantic illness.

Well, this year that all changed. The Lord had other plans for me, and my comfort zone was about to be shaken. Without so much as a warning, my ears slowly but surely caught the attention of this illness. The Lord in so many ways commanded my attention, and without truly realizing it, I found myself slowly fighting against this illness. Sadly enough, my attention was caught by the loss of friends and hearing of others being diagnosed with cancer. I have always heard of people and had friends diagnosed with cancer, but just like so many other things in life, it was not until this year that I truly started paying attention to this illness.

Being that my ears finally caught the attention of this illness, I have been for the past few weeks and days seeking the Lord and asking His revelation for overcoming this illness that seems to so many of us bigger than Goliath. This illness that has brought so much fear amongst the children of God. This illness that has caused many to walk away from God, hopeless and in defeat.

A friend mentioned to me that cancer is the modern day plague. That thought never left my mind, and I eventually reached out to my mother and my sister, and I asked them the same question.

Is cancer the modern day plague?

My mother and my sister both believe that cancer is not the modern day plague. My sister went on to explain to me in so many words, that unlike the plagues that were ordained by the Lord to bring deliverance to His children, cancer is an attack from the enemy to cause the Lord’s people harm. To bring hopelessness and anything ungodly you can think of. They both also stressed on the healing powers that our Lord has given us, and while I know we might have more questions, and just feel a gap in resolution, the assurance that God is against cancer. The assurance that God is for deliverance and healing. That assurance of all that brings with it so much HOPE  for me and am sure for so many others as well.

See, we might never cure cancer, but that does not mean that healing will cease. John 14:12 tells us “I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father.” The Lord in this verse reassures us of the greater powers given to us through the Holy Spirit. He says, we will do greater works than He did. If you read the bible, you will know that there are so many accounts of the Lord’s miracles. So many seemingly unbelievable doors were open through the Lord, and He says we have the same powers. In fact greater powers than He did.

If that be the truth, cancer is surely defeated in Jesus name. We have the power to heal, the power to bring HOPE to a hopeless generation. And if the enemy’s plan is to bring hopelessness through cancer, then we must stand up and find it in ourselves to fight spiritually and in our deeds against this illness, and believe for the many who are battling cancer, that they will find HOPE in their journey, and friends when we find HOPE, healing begins.

And I know, I know this is easier said than done. I also know that not everyone’s journey ends as we hope for it to. To that thought I am reminded that this is not our permanent home, and while healing while on earth is what is our ideal end result, we must also remember that this is but our temporary home. For the one who is facing cancer today. The fears that cloud your day sometimes feel much larger than this HOPE the Lord promises us. I just want you to know that, while healing is our ultimate goal, HOPE is our way there. When we begin to find HOPE through this journey, when that HOPE is found then healing my friend, healing is found. That pain and suffering that dares to cloud your day, that pain and that suffering is then turned to HOPE. HOPE for today, HOPE for tomorrow. And that HOPE my friend, that HOPE, that four letter word HOPE, will see you through all your days, and my prayer is that HOPE will see you to your healing.

You see the thing about HOPE is that, even though your circumstances have not changed. Even though the pain is there, the sorrow or just you being in a dark place. Even in all these circumstances, when HOPE finds its way into your heart, there life, new life is breathed into your body, and when that happens my friend, healing is taking place.

So I want to come to you today with love and HOPE. If you have been diagnosed with cancer or any illness. If you have family or friends going through an illness, believe for them, stand for them in HOPE and know, know without a doubt that when they see HOPE in your eyes. When they feel it in your voice. In the words you speak out to them and over them, when they see this HOPE you boldly proclaim, they will begin to see healing, healing will then my dear friend bring restoration to them.

Speak life over them. Life brings HOPE. HOPE brings LIFE. 

I believe and I know without a doubt, if us believers in the body of Christ stand up in HOPE. In the reassurance that our God still heals, and even when that healing seems to take forever. Even when the end result is not what we had hoped for, if we live our lives in HOPE like Psalm 41:3 says “The Lord sustains them on their sickbed and restores them from their bed of illness.” If we live by these promises, we will surely have defeated the enemy, and any plans of wickedness that the enemy has for the Lord’s children will be crushed into tiny little un-restorable pieces.

Believe my friend, in HOPE.

HOPE brings healing. That’s where it all begins, in HOPE.

Until next week my friend, have yourself a blessed HOPE filled week.

May the Lord’s blessings shine upon you. May you find peace in this journey you make.

Love: Christine

Today’s pics are from last weekend’s MercyMe Rock & Worship Roadshow Concert which I attended with Compassion International.

 

“...you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit.” — Lemon Snicket

The first trickle of tears makes its way out. I wonder why it has become so easy for them to find their way out. “It seems a little too much,” I say to myself. Lately they have trickled down more than ever, and have in the most bizarre of ways found a way to co – exist with laughter.

Day after day they become one. Laughter brings tears. Tears brings laughter. I find out that to have peace of mind, I must then let them live together. I must allow trickles to shower my face, and laughter to then wipe them off.

If there was ever a season of look backs, then this season, this moment is that season. No wonder they found their way out. As I reminisce on days past. Seasons past, I see why it would be so easy a way to find escape. To trickle down and shower me with tear drops, and to also at the same time comfort in laughter. Life is such as this.

I look back at the mountains. The valleys. The seas, and its so easy to drown in tears. The wonders of His miracle. The Grace that continues to abound. My heart aches at these memories. Memories of climbed mountains. Victorious valleys, and parted seas. How easy it is for me in this season to drain myself of all my tears, and to ache in laughter.

To become one in thought, is to embrace the past, believe in the present and hope in the future. Tears and laughter become one, as you find peace with the One in whom ALL things are possible.

To be as one with Him, is peace. Peace that finds itself a place to dwell within, so that for the first time He finds Himself a home. And to realize that I am home to peace. I am home to Him, is beyond what I can ever put into words. Yet as good as it is to have peace within, to have Him dwell within, there are still moments when flesh rebels. When flesh is somewhat demanding and inconsiderate of Him who dwells within.

Such is my life.

“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.“

It is also worth mentioning that I long to forever have Him within. To be the one to whom He says “Well done, good and faithful servant.” “The streets are filled with moments such as these,” I say out loud. Many without a place to call home, food to fuel them for tomorrow, for today and clothes to protect their precious bodies.

The hour of reckoning is almost here. “What you have done for the least of these, you have done for Me,” He says. He will say. I long to hear these words. So long as one has life, one can never think to say that “I have done enough.” His work is never complete until He says so. In other words, we can not do it once, twice and think that its enough. We must continue to plant seeds of hope.

For a moment I realize that my tears are their tears. Their sorrows ache from within. When I laugh its because I see hope. Hope for my broken self and hope for them and their broken self. There will come a time when their tears will be laughter, laughter tears. When that time comes, may I be privy to their joy. Their peace.

“You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.”

– Kahlil Gibran

Love you always: Christine

Hi friends, see the beautiful sun flower above, was not always this beautiful. In fact there was a time during its growth, that I thought it was dead. I kept asking my daughter to get rid of her “dead” sun flower, and I promised I would buy her another seed to plant, but she wouldn’t do it. She completely refused, and she kept telling me “mom, it doesn’t matter that the leaves are dieing, it is fine.” Well, it was more than just dead leaves, this plant was dead in my book, every bit of it looked dead. I  took my thoughts further and placed a bet on this plant, because I knew I had won it, there was no doubt in my books. My daughter had no hesitation placing the bet. While we placed the bet, I remember thinking to myself, “she is so gonna lose this bet, and am not going to pay her nothing,” with a mischievous grin on my face, I would say this every-time I asked her to get rid of her plant, and she would insist that it was OK.

Oh, I loved those moments, because if ever I felt confident in myself, it was during those conversations, where I asked my daughter to get rid of her plant, eventually I gave up. We ended up moving into our new home, with this plant that was dead in my opinion. I mean if you can envision a dead plant, well this one had every symptom of something dead. It smelled like death, looked like death and was dead according to me. But, my daughter, she kept watering this plant, and never gave up. More than watering this plant, she spoke LIFE into this plant. She filled it with every ounce of LIFE that one could ever give another.

When I think of this plant, and the manner in which my daughter defended it’s life, I think of Lazarus. He looked physically dead, and smelled dead, but when everyone had given up on Him, that is the hour the Lord arrived and breathed LIFE into Lazarus, for the glory of God. How mighty is our Lord, just when we are about to give up and throw in the towel, He shows up and shows the world that He is God and He is good, and that there is NOTHING impossible with Him.

My daughter taught me an important lesson with her plant. She loves this plant so much that she NEVER once stopped hoping for it. Much like the love we have for our children, and even more the LOVE God has for us. That even when the world says “its over,” it never is truly over until God says so. And one day out of the blues, my other daughter Mya, called me to show me this beautiful sunflower that had bloomed open, and looked more beautiful than I had ever imagined. I was in awe, as I heard my daughter whisper to me, “you see mom, I told you it was not dead,” and I thought to myself, what little faith I had, as my daughter asked for her prize, after winning the bet.

Friends, like my daughter Mckenzie, we can not dictate our future through what we see at the present. We can not give up, no matter how many people tell us it’s dead. No way, we can not do that. Think of how much influence I have over my daughter. I could have easily discouraged her, and she would have gotten rid of a plant that was perfectly fine, and if not, a plant that the Lord planned to resurrect through the faith of a little girl. We are more influencial than we can ever think of, and am so glad that my daughter listened to the voice from within, without which her beautiful flower would be no more.

As always I love you: Christine

Link To Image → In Prayer

I took a walk this morning. I needed to – meditate, clear my mind and embrace the beauty of His creation. I have had a rough couple of weeks, and last week was by far one of my toughest weeks. It’s a work issue. And we all know we spend more time at work, than we sometimes spend at home. Which makes it even more tough and hard to escape. See, I can be what people call – AN AVOIDER. I avoid – conflict, uncomfortable situations and anything that puts me out of my comfort zone, I often find ways to – AVOID.

Last week however, I was forced to come face to face with alot of issues that have been building up, and to be honest, I was hoping for a magical wand to come by and sweep everything under the rag. Perhaps also, I was hoping that I could avoid it long enough for God to bring this season to close, and usher in a more – lovely, peaceful and enriching new season. In the chaos of everything, and I wish I could go into details, but for good reasons, I can not. Not at this time. As I was saying, in the chaos of everything, I broke down last week. The – strong, it’s ok kind of look that I had been carrying around for so very long, failed to manifest itself last week, and I found myself speaking to what I had tried to avoid all this while.

The Lord says in Joshua –

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go

– 1: 9

I cried. Oh, many are the tears I have shed. In my tears, I also found it in my heart to utter prayers, here and there hoping against all hopes to hear from the heavens. The – insects and the quietness of spring nights, can testify to the – prayers they heard, from beneath the covers of my bed. I prayed. I prayed just like Jesus prayed, when He said – take this cup away from me, but Lord NOT my will but yours be done. My prayers went something like that, only I added a twist of – demands, fury and a couple of ungodly emotions, to try if anything at all pursued our Lord to take this cup away. It hurt so bad. I hurt so bad, and felt for the first time in a long time – HOPELESS. I felt hopeless, and the situation felt hopeless.

What a place to be?

Allow me to pause for a second, and let me share with you a beautiful quote that I love oh so much.

Never let go of hope. One day you will see that it all has finally come together. What you have always wished for has finally come to be. You will look back and laugh at what has passed and you will ask yourself…”How did I get through all of that?“

The Prayer of My Distress

I wish I believed last week, that – in my distress, in the chaos of my week, and of that frightening Thursday afternoon -  that the LORD was with me. I wish I could say that I confidently believed that He – heard me. That He heard my – cries, and saw my hurt, and the heaven’s ached as I did, and hoped if anything at all that they could as I hoped – take this cup away from me. Oh, how I wish I believed. Because in everything, and with everything going on and building up to the “finale,” I lost the sense of the presence of our Lord, and the knowledge that – Our Lord is more than ABLE and more than a CONQUEROR.

Broken into pieces, I prayed in wait

After the storm had calmed down, my heart racing in a normal kind of pace – I sought refuge in His presence, because I knew, oh I knew that there was nowhere more – fulfilling, more peaceful and more confident than the presence of Our Father. He calmed me. And even if for the first time in months I knew nothing of what next, even if I felt blind and a little discouraged – In His presence I found the surety that I was NOT alone.

And that made a tonne of difference.

Moms, I want to let you know that there is no place the Lord leads you that He has NOT already been, and there is no assignment without challenge. He spoke that to me months ago, and most clear it has been in the weeks leading up to my break down. There are lessons to be learned, and more than financial provisions, the Lord seeks ways to provide for our spiritual growth and the glory of His name even at work. There is nothing quite as tough, yet there is nothing more rewarding.

I always thought that I had gone through deep stages of forgiveness, of compassion and other gifts the Lord gives us, but it’s just this week as I have been reflecting on everything that I have found that I have grown even deeper in having and possessing these qualities. In everything and through everything, I have also retrieved back into walking a life of – FULL SURRENDER and that has allowed me to hear from God, and also follow Him.

Perhaps these many challenges that we come face to face with, and more so the ones we try at all costs to avoid, are in fact our ticket to a new season. Perhaps also if we allow ourselves to suffer, even the littlest of sufferings, and remind ourselves that Christ paid the ultimate sacrifice, that in knowing that we can find peace and trust that – we serve a mighty, mighty good God.

I am still going through this challenge. It has brought me closer to God, and allowed me to fast and pray in a way that I am sure pleases our God. I hope to continue practicing the presence of God like I have done through out my Christian life, but more so through challenges. Brother Lawrence, in the book – The Practice of The Presence of God, teaches us how to suffer for God and how to find peace in every situation that God places us. To know that God loves us and cares deeply for us, is also to know that – we are more than conquerors.

Blessed be the name of God forever and ever. For wisdom and might are His. And He changes the times and the seasons; He removes kings and raises up kings. He gives wisdom to the wise, and knowledge to those who have understanding. He reveals deep and secret things; He knows what is in the darkness, and light dwells with Him. I thank You and Praise You, O God of my fathers. You have given me wisdom and might, and have now made known to me what we asked of You.

– Daniel 2: 20 – 23

Love you!!!

POSITIVE AFFIRMATION

Today, I choose a peaceful, tender walk with Him. I choose to remain calm even in the midst of the storm. He is with me, and He is with you as well.

Choose to remain in His presence!!!