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Life With Christ

how love wastes in the sea of fear



you are blessed, if your feet stop moving to the beat of your desires, and for a few hours or so you are even more blessed, to move to His beats. when the flat tire happens in the middle of moving to your beats, and the towing company arrives six hours later, your feet becomes His to do with as He pleases, and your heart wrestles with the idea of stopped feet, and the mountains of errands awaiting your return. and in the midst of all that is His, you still hope to make it to your friends child’s birthday party, but the clock ticking away, soon makes it clear that the celebrations will be made while walking to the beats of His desires.

 from time to time, you can hear the birds chipping away, and the swirl of the wind wrapping itself around your stiff body. your are stiff because hunger is also fighting you, and the children are growing restless, as hours go by. and perhaps, in this moment, the one whom we call the enemy of our mind, or of this world, makes it his duty to parade all over your unstable thoughts, and take you to places so dark and defeating, that you almost crawl deep into the furthest parts of your car, as you wait for the clock to tick to the hour and minute when the tow truck driver finally arrives to save the day.

it is scary to know that other feet keep moving to the beats of their liking, walking and driving past you like you are invisible, and they not so much. you wonder when one will stop to sprinkle some love, and to the sadness of your heart, not one stops to dance if only for a moment to your beat. and as you continue to cling to that little hope, and that little desire to be seen and helped, you realize that such moments are those moments when love aches to be seen, and fear drowns it all.

perhaps today, your bubbles have been cracked wide opened, and the reality of this world has made it’s way to your heart. the girls have returned from the Apple store, where they went to ask for a charger to bring back life, to the only phone we had that served us well, and shut it’s eyes after numerous attempts to reach love. at one point, we spotted a police car, and there in that moment, we saw a glimpse of love, only to then see love drive up past us, without a blink of an eye. another one passed us by, and our hope sparked up again. and another one. and another one. never to stop they drove on by, and we waited and walked to His beats.

The King will reply, “Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” — Matthew 25:40

 and as the hours drew on closer to night, he showered up. his blue shirt looking all rugged and oily. his face a little rough around the edges, and a mouth that never stopped talking. our hearts were frail indeed. perhaps, he also saw the look of hunger come pouncing through our eyes, and the weariness of the day almost come tumbling down in tears. he pulled out a bag of Popeye’s, and insisted on sharing his meal with us. and the countless times i said to my girls, “don’t talk or take food from strangers,” faded away as we all stretched inside this bag, stuffed our mouths with spicy chicken, shredding it into tiny little pieces.

and in that moment, we saw love.

love in the eyes of a stranger, whose mission it was to save our day.

we saw love.

and after helplessly clinging to the many vessels of love that walked and drove past us, it sure was good to finally embrace this rugged and oily looking stranger, who carried in him the vessels of love that the many strangers who walked and drove past us, might have shared with us, if only they dared enough to dance to the beat of our life.

i wonder if we all claim to love, but only a few of us really do love.

we dropped off Gracie our car at our dealership. they closed the day at 4pm, and Gracie is left out in the lot until Monday, when they come back to the hustle and bustle of life. excited we were to head on out to the rental store, only to find that they too closed early for the day. “could this day get any worse?,” we thought. the phone had been charged to 12%, but by this time, it’s life had vanished from within, and what was left was a beautiful golden Apple phone, without a spark of energy to make a call. “not to worry,” we said. we spotted a car dealership still opened, and walked inside not to buy a car, which they hoped was the case, but rather to ask for help. and once again, we met love, and this gentleman whose name i don’t know, googled a taxi company for us, and helped dial us through to them. we sighed with a big relief, as home then seemed so much nearer.

thirty minutes or so went by, and this yellow taxi came driving in. excited we were to finally be heading home, but that excitement was soon met with a cold, unfriendly and very scary driver. he refused to help with the car door, and we then refused to accept his ride. as if that never happened, we slowly made our way to the closest shopping center, and asked an employee of a nail store if we could use their phone to call another taxi. and it was there, that we once again encountered the cruel hand of hopelessness, as she smiled and said,”No.” i asked again, not believing her answer. perhaps, “I heard wrong,” I thought. and again she smiled, and said, “No.”

 we headed out to find love again. perhaps love had not all together departed from us, and perhaps like Carlos our tow truck driver, love would once again meet us with open arms, if we didn’t give up. and that is what kept as walking to His beats, and into this opticians store asking if we could use their phone to call a taxi. the three of them seemed busy taking inventory, or something. one lady willingly took the phone, and dialed the taxi company for us. we thanked her greatly, and walked out the door to once again, wait for love. after almost an hour, he finally pulled into the driveway, and we started our journey back home. his driving left alot to be desired, and on our way home, we prayed to Love to have mercy, and get us home safe.

 as the pressure from the water rushed fiercely through my shower head and onto my body, my thoughts raced up and down, taking inventory of all that had happened that day. i wondered why it was that many who are vessels of love, failed to pour out love to us that day.

i wondered if fear was one of those reasons.

and as my mind wondered, i couldn’t help but draw a canvas of the world I saw that day – a world drowning in a sea of fear.

could it be that fear, has on countless other occasions, stopped love from parading it’s beautiful glow, in a world that is otherwise dark, and hopeless? is it why our neighbors die of hunger. die helpless. while in fact, we are the answers to their prayers?

A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. 31 A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. 32 So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. 33 But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. 34 He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him. 35 The next day he took out two denarii[c] and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’

36 “Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?”

37 The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.”

Jesus told him, Go and do likewise.” — Luke 10: 30-37

 i also wondered if love failed to show up multiple times, because the world is too busy moving to their beats, that the troubles of another are inconveniences to them.

i also wondered if prejudice had anything to do with why love failed to show up, on the many occasions that Love ached to show up.

whatever the reason might have been. fear, inconvenience or prejudice, love still remains in the hearts of millions, and awaits patiently to show up through them.

i ended the night in tears for the world we live in, however thanking God, for stopping my feet, so that i could get a glimpse of what breaks His heart.

until next week, live in boldness of love, and allow Him to stop your beats, and cause you to move to His beats. and as you move in His beats, you will get a glimpse of life like you have never before

love: christine

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how a day in the woods by the river returns back joy and hope



it’s morning now, and the sun is still rising. it’s good to see the rising of the sun, the birds chipping away at the very aged, and almost barren tree, and the brisk of an early morning, come mounting up on earth. everyday, until this morning has seemed to be nothing different from the other. the darkness of winter, lingered longer than nights, and days were left covered in utter darkness, as the sun rose and set behind the curtain of darkness. today however, feels like a whole new day. could it be that darkness has at last been defeated by the powerful, yet radiant rays of the sun? or better still, could it be that darkness finally found its rightful place, and decided after months of stealing and tormenting day, that it would alas rest where it thrives the best?

 she woke up that morning, feeling the difference in day. covered in her favorite fur coat, she made her way into the deepest parts of the woods, that made company of her huge estate. it had been months, since she took a liking to the beautiful ever green woods, that so often seemed to call and even shout out her name. tucked in the heart of her gorgeous dark brown log cabin, she found comfort in hiding in doors, and wondering when He would visit her once again. sometimes she got lonely, and in those days, the sparkling eyes of her little Yorkie, brought company back into the room.

her little shop in town was well known for it’s magnificent scent of whatever she had cooking that day. the shop was where the locals gathered daily, to unwind from a long day, and catch up on what was taking place around them. Grace loved her shop. and more than that, she loved cooking. cooking was art. cooking was music. when she cooked, music played and art was then displayed in her grandmas white china plates, which she used  to serve all her guests. the months leading up to this moment, had been difficult for Grace. the severe winter storm, had taken down most of the town, and locals were scrambling for every bit of food they could find, and businesses were at their all time low. many days, she ached for Middle Town. the town she had called home all her life. she knew each and every person by name, and they knew her too. they were family, and when family hurt, she hurt as well.

over the years, Gracie had seen blessings like never before.  dreams coming alive, and hope being lifted way up, bringing with it so much joy. He had blessed her oh so much. and on this particular year when darkness, stole day she found herself in and out of joy. joy came, however never to stay. it visited her more than it found home within her heart. she had hoped to go even further this year. perhaps, should would be able to do more for the orphan children, and those around the world that seemed to be breaking her heart. her log cabin had seen so many better years, and she had hoped to restore it back to it’s beautiful state. but more than that, her heart ached to do more. not so much more for her, but rather more for Him.

where are you,” she often cried.

do you see me?,” she often asked.

how will i bless them, if you don’t continue to increase me?,”

business seems to be failing. the people are suffering. and i can barely do a thing.”

everything seems uncertain.”

we trusted You, and now it seems like You have departed.”

we need you Lord.”

“I need you Lord”

“You have done so much, so much please don’t stop now.” she often said.

i will go and not fear. i will trust, and not waver.”

and on this one day, resting in the comfort of the peace He had supplied all this while. without a shout to the heavens, or a cry into His ears. He whispered an answer to her.

oh but my child, Am I not the One who brought you this far?

“if I being the One who brought you this far, Am I not the only one that can sustain what I have blessed you with?”

“why do you find security, in the things of this world?”

“things that never last?”

“why do you hope in man’s provision?”

“do you not see, what I have done, and will continue to do?”

“I am never gone. I am always here.”

“though the days might seem oh so difficult, and the nights not peaceful enough for a sleep, will you trust, that I will continue to sustain what I have blessed you with, and that there is nothing that I have promised you, that will not come to pass.”

“will you trust me child?”

and it was this very moment, when things truly began to change. joy seemed to have finally made it’s way home, and this time around, joy was staying. and as she continued deeper into the woods, she got the sense that He too continued deeper into the woods with her. she finally made entrance into the shores of the river that divided her estate, with that of her grandma and grandpa. in her early years, she and her cousins often met up by the river, and splashed water all day long, as the brutal summers found home in Middle Town. coming down to the river again, brought back all those beautiful memories, and as if to give her a big hug and kiss, He stretched out His arms, and said again to her, “will you trust me.” and this time around, she stretched out her arms and said to Him, “yes, Lord I will.”

perhaps, the Lord all this while had been preparing her for such a time as this. perhaps, now her faith having grown much more than it had a few years back, was now ready for a more deeper walk in the thick boisterous woods. perhaps, there are seasons that would come, and go and never make sense then. but perhaps, those very seasons would one day make sense, in another season.

she found herself splashing the river water that day. if ever you walked past the river on that day, you would wonder what tickled her so very hard, that she would splash water back and forth, and giggle words of praise, as she shouted with joy. am sure she would invite you to join fun. “He loves to play silly games as well,” she might say. “He loves those peaceful, serene moments by the river. those moments when it’s just you and Him. He loves and treasures those moments,” she would tell you. and maybe seeing how much joy filled her heart, in the midst of a dark barren looking town, you would dare yourself to trust in the moment, to trust in Him and join the fun.

she headed back home that day, filled with hope for tomorrow. knowing that even though, times might be difficult, or seem uncertain, that with Him by her side, there is nothing she could not do. and as for the uncertain financial times, she knew without a doubt, that her tomorrow is in His hands, and that what He had blessed her with, He alone could sustain. and those children she hoped to care for? well, let’s just say that that dream came to pass, and she now has more children, than she can count, and He is once again sustaining the blessings He has provided her with.

it is easy to surrender, when we know that we don’t have to do it all by our self. that what He blesses us with, only He can sustain, and when we try to do it all by our self, or think we have the power to sustain it all, that’s when we realize how powerless we truly are.

until next time, have a blessed surrender filled week :)

love: christine

free from fear – walking in boldness


For God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and a sound mind.  2 Timothy 1:7


my daughters and I just got done reading through the book of Jonah. we are not told why Jonah at first disobeyed God, by not going to Ninevah, but we all agree that fear might have played a role in Jonah’s initial disobedience. fear might have crippled him and caused him to seek a way out instead. like many of us, Jonah might have wished or thought that God would forget, or simply not bring up the assignment again. but that was not the case. God caught up to him (not that He needed to catch up to him), and in the belly of a big fish, Jonah surrendered to God’s will, and agreed to deliver the news to the people of Ninevah.

fear is a terrible spirit

fear will hinder you from completing God’s assignment

fear will hinder the work of God in your life

fear will ROBE you of hope

a few days ago as I was driving, God reminded me that He had already parted the sea for me. for the past few week’s i have been facing a situation like none i have faced or even thought i would ever face. this left me questioning my assignment, and contemplating other options. there are days that seem good. days, filled with light and hope. days when the Lord’s assignment seems to unveil itself through the people i meet, and interact with. those days leave me with hope, and trust in my assignment. but there are also those days, that seem very dark. days that are dark, but never hopeless. that’s the good news. they are never hopeless days. though dark, the Lord has made sure that even in the midst of darkness, His light still shines. shines bright enough to give me hope.

hope to keep going.

and so it was, as i drove around that day, not too long ago, that the Lord also reminded me, that fear was my struggle. that in the midst of every challenge, i had let fear in, and then allowed fear to grow into this controlling agent, that controlled my hope and faith in our unchanging God, and His promises for our life. and like any parent would, our Father took me back to the very beginning. He opened my eyes to the seas that He had parted, just so that I could get to this place. He reminded me just how faithful He has always been, and continues to be. the sea had all along been parted, there is nothing that can stop God’s will over my life. not even fear. so long as I am willing to walk the walk. even if walking the walk, means walking through some tough terrain, so long as i am willing to walk the walk, He would always be beside me walking the walk as well. never to forsake me, nor leave me alone.

we serve a might big God

what has God put in your heart to do? has He called you to minister to the hopeless, and needy? has he called you to serve him in mission work? to start an orphanage? to preach His unchanging word? whatever area of ministry the Lord has called you to, my plea to you would be that you would kick fear out the curb, and step in the boldness of God and serve Him just where He has called you. remember, you will face challenges. nothing supernatural comes without a challenge. challenges endured in faith, result to victory, and victory means glory to God. also remember that, what God has called you to do, He has prepared you to complete. lean on His strength, wisdom  and understanding, knowing that without Him, your are utterly hopeless. in Him alone, can you see victory, and a successful completion of His assignment. in Him alone. know that no matter how dark the days might seem, He has prepared before you seas that are parted just so that you can accomplish His will over your life. do not let fear stop, or delay the work of God in your life. step out in obedience, knowing that He will never leave you, nor forsake you.

and as i write this message, i have kicked fear out the curb. i have declared in the fullness of God, that i will no longer give refuge to fear. fear will no longer robe me of completing God’s assignments in my life. i am free from fear. fear no longer has any control over me. fear might have won previous battles, but God has won this war. Praise God!!

so i took the first step today, to reclaim my future, and i wrote an email. and in this email, i sent fear a loud and clear message, “YOU ARE NO LONGER IN CONTROL OVER MY LIFE. I AM NOT YOUR SLAVE.” and i must say, it felt really really good. my one and only desire in life, is to please God. i have shed enough tears over the past few days, angry at the revelation of the power i had given fear over my life. seeing my Father’s work complete, is my heart’s desire. i no longer live a life encompassed around me, and my heart’s desire, but i aim to always live a life encompassed around God’s will for my life. and nothing in this world, brings me more joy than seeing the work of God complete, and a new assignment received, and started. nothing. absolutely nothing. and so to see just how much power i had given fear, makes me so mad, but at the same time, i am joyful just knowing that fear is defeated.

 know that when we let fear in, we are no longer operating in the Holy spirit. for fear is not from God, and therefore does not dwell in the realm of the Holy Spirit. when we let fear in, we are instead operating in the flesh. nothing divine and spiritual can be obtained in the flesh. we must die to flesh, so that the Spirit may dwell in us, and guide us through life. so for all of us this might mean, a daily surrender to God’s will. a daily renewal of our commitment to God, and His will over our life. like brother Lawrence says in the book – the practice of the presence of the Lord, we are to daily practice the Lord’s presence, that is the only way we remain connected to the Spirit.

no matter where you are today, it’s not too late to start. the bible says, the Lord’s mercies are new ever morning. renew your trust in God, seek His help and you will fulfill your God given purpose. Amen!!

i love this song by Bethel music. it’s perfect for today’s message. to enjoy the music, please pause the blog music located at the top right page of this blog.

until next time, have a blessed fearless week

love: christine

hearing and answering the Lord’s call



The Lord Calls Samuel
3 The boy Samuel ministered before the Lord under Eli. In those days the word of the Lord was rare there were not many visions.
2 One night Eli, whose eyest were becoming so weak that he could barely see, was lying down in his usual place. 3 The lamp of God had not yet gone out, and Samuel was lying down in the house of the Lord, where the ark of God was. 4 Then the Lord called Samuel.
Samuel answered, “Here I am.” 5 And he ran to Eli and said, “Here I am; you called me.”
But Eli said, “I did not call; go back and lie down.” So he went and lay down.
6 Again the Lord called, “Samuel!” And Samuel got up and went to Eli and said, “Here I am; you called me.”
“My son,” Eli said, “I did not call; go back and lie down.”
7 Now Samuel did not yet know the Lord: The word of the Lord had not yet been revealed to him.
8 A third time the Lord called, “Samuel!” And Samuel got up and went to Eli and said, “Here I am; you called me.”
Then Eli realized that the Lord was calling the boy. 9 So Eli told Samuel, “Go and lie down, and if he calls you, say, ‘Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.’ ” So Samuel went and lay down in his place.
10 The Lord came and stood there, calling as at the other times, “Samuel! Samuel!”
Then Samuel said, “Speak, for your servant is listening.”
11 And the Lord said to Samuel: “See, I am about to do something in Israel that will make the ears of everyone who hears about it tingle. 12 At that time I will carry out against Eli everythinge I spoke against his family—from beginning to end. 13 For I told him that I would judge his family forever because of the sin he knew about; his sons blasphemed God, and he failed to restrain them. 14 Therefore I swore to the house of Eli, ‘The guilt of Eli’s house will never be atoned for by sacrifice or offering.’ ” — 1 Samuel 3: 1-14

over the last couple of week’s I have witnessed the power of God in a way like I have never imagined before. i always knew that God is always at work – day and night, but on a practical level, i had never really experienced the practicality of God’s unending works until January 5th, 2015. this was also the same day, that i started my 21 day fast, and it was around 8pm when I received a call that would later result into a couple of other conversations outside of what we term as normal business hours. the lady on the other end, started out by first apologizing for the late time in which they were attempting to reach me. she proceeded to propose to me an opportunity that they felt would be a good fit for me. still in total disbelief at the timing of God, i willingly agreed to hear her out, and by the end of our call, i had agreed to meet with them for further conversations around this proposal.

to cut a long story short, the next weeks after receiving that initial call at 8pm, were made up of further phone conversations, and face to face meetings. i remember a night when we were all holding conversations around 9:30pm very close to 10pm, via email. still, i was very much in awe at the Lord’s timing. I marveled at His ways, which are truly not our ways, but are so so much better than our own ways (Isaiah 58:8). through it all, God continued to open my eyes to the busy nature of His own life. how wondrous His works truly are. and how timeless His ways are. and eventually, i started soaking in His message to me. over and over proving to me that He never ever does close an eye or two to sleep, He is always hard at work.

i remember at one point, the Lord took me back to that first phone call that i received late in the night. i then wondered, how things would have turned out, if i had decided not to answer that call because it was outside of what we term as normal business hours. i can guarantee, that the ending to this beautiful blessing, would not have been the same. it would be in non existence. in the same way, as weeks have gone by, the Lord has continued to minister to me, about my own willingness to answer His calls. to answer His calls even when they come in late in the night, or early in the morning. to answer His calls even when it means that it would then be viewed as a disruption to my daily routines.

the picture of God i have when i think of Him answering our prayers, which if we think about it comes to Him every second of the day and  night. is a picture of a Father who is awake, willing and able to receive any call at any hour. is a Father who immediately gets to work at 2am, when He receives a plea for healing, favor, provision etc. a Father who never views us as interruptions, but rather makes time at any hour to listen to our prayers, and in turn begins a response to those millions and millions of prayers. and so it is that the Lord has also placed a challenge in my heart, to dare enough to respond as He does. to be vigilant and always willing to answer His calls. to go where He leads, and act as He asks me to act.

think about those men and women who work in the 911 call center. day and night, they are at work receiving calls for help, and then responding immediately to those calls. what if we lived our own lives in this manner? always practicing the presence of God. hearing from Him, and then responding to His daily calls on our lives. instead of being consumed with our own life, we would be consumed with doing the work of God. what if? i bet you, that would put a big big smile on God’s face, because that would then mean that we would be living a selfless loving life, always conscious never to miss God’s calls.

and so the story ends that at around 11:30am on January 24th, 2015, which if i may add was a Saturday, the Lord once again prompted a final seal on this blessing – a call that would finalize these many discussions we had held during the 21 day fast. my fast came to an end on Sunday January 25th, 2015, the day after i received this last call on Saturday around 11:30am. by this date and time, i was much willing to answer calls on weekdays, or weekends. during normal business hours, and after business hours. and so it was that i answered this call, and the Lord then made His plans known to me, and as a result of me answering this call, a new chapter of my life began.

when i think of this new chapter of my life, and the way it all started, am reminded of the boy Samuel, who at such a young age received calls from God, and for the first three times He heard  God’s voice, He awoke and went straight to Eli the priest, as he thought it was him who was calling him. not once did Samuel ignore these calls from God, each time he stood up and went to Eli, and eventually Eli realized that God was speaking to Samuel, and he told Samuel that the next time he hears this voice, he should respond to God, for it was Him who was calling him. what if Samuel had decided that it was too late in the night, to answer any calls. that his sleep was way too important than these calls, and then decide to ignore these calls all together. what if? it turns out that God did great works through Samuel, and it all started with His obedience to God’s call.

will you join me in this dare to live a life that is always willing to answer God’s call?

a life that God is not afraid to work through even in the middle of the night, or early mornings, because He knows of our obedience to His voice. to go where He asks, and do as He asks of us.

what a beautiful way to live and serve God.

until next week, may the Lord lead us all to true surrender to His will over our lives, so that we may always be willing to answer His calls.

love: Christine


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