It had been seven years since her last relationship. These seven alone years though not willingly desired, she sought to find herself. The self that she had lost those many years ago, in a relationship that she knew would continue to drown her crazy if she decided to make it the journey of her life.
It was months after she had called off her wedding that she finally found the courage to head on out, and see what the dear Lord had in store for her.
She was terrified.
Many times terrified of the unknown, and the abilities of the Lord to see her through into her new life.
Her kids were a constant reminder of what could have been, what she had hoped her life would have become, and also a reminder of the life she so desired for them, and for her.
“A FULL life, filled with love and more love.” Was her heart’s desire.
She was a hopeless romantic, and had hoped for the same kind of love. It was not long into her seven alone years that the Lord made it clear to her, that before she could ever fall madly in love with man, she would need to fall madly in love with Spirit.
“Fall madly in love with Spirit?” How could that be?
Falling in love with Spirit seemed to be a life sentence to an empty, unromantic life.
“Was Spirit ever capable of revealing to her the kind of Love she craved for? That madly in love kind of love?” She often wondered. Would this be another one way kind of love where she gave and never received? She wasn’t willing to live that kind of life again, and yet there was something about Spirit that kept drawing her closer and closer to Him, that before long she found her self completely immersed in Spirit’s world.
She found that Spirit knew oh too well how to give Love. He showered her with more Love than she had ever known, and if ever there was a kind of Love that she would love to model for her children and husband to be, it was this kind of unselfish, unconditional love that she received from Spirit.
It was the first time in her life that she fell short in giving love. Spirit had showered her with so much love, that she could not keep up with Him. On days when she failed to be obedient to His words. Days when she really didn’t give Him as much attention as He gave her, even on those days that man normally tends to ran from, Spirit never ran and never stopped giving Love.
He was hopelessly in Love with her.
He never failed to express His Love to her. He had already given up so much for her. So much so that He would give up His life all over again, if it meant saving her from an empty kind of purposeless life. And slowly into her journey, she too fell in Love with Spirit.
“How could she not?”
He was everything she had hoped for and so much more. All her life she had always been on the giving end of Love, never receiving what she gave and for the first time, Spirit had given her more than she was ever capable of giving Him back, yet He never asked for more, always loved her all the same.
She had found her FIRST LOVE.
He is what TRUE LOVE is meant to be.
Rich in Love, Patient, Kind, Honest and oh so Gracious.
Today, she will tell you that what started off as a quest to fill an empiteness within her that she hoped a husband could fill, turned out to be a quest for something much greater, something much more filling. And if ever there was a perfect ending to a journey of search, this journey to find TRUE LOVE, truly is that perfect kind of ending. For this Love He gives her is beyond any kind of Love that any man can ever give. And she thinks to herself, that had she never opened up her life to the possibility of finding a different kind of Love, she would have missed out on the BEST LOVE of all.
Lately she has felt a beginning of something new in her life. Perhaps now Spirit is willing to release her into the world of man, for Him to then bless her with the husband she so deserves.
Many thoughts ran through her mind.
Spirit has been more open to her finding love in man more now than ever before. “It’s scary to venture into the world.” She often says. To open up her world, and her heart to the possibility of hurt is something that is new and scary for her.
She has been under His protection for so many years, that venturing out seems almost like a fish outside of water, yet she knows and is comforted by His ever constant presence in her life. His love and protection will always be with her even as she walks through this new chapter of her life fully aware of the presence of her FIRST LOVE, and His marvelous kind of LOVE.
“Oh, what a beautiful LOVE to have,” she says.
There are many things we search for in life that never bring us fullness much like the Spirit does. Husbands, wives, wealth, status are to mention a few. While is there is nothing wrong with these desires, on the contrary God longs to bless us with all these things and so much more, but if we are ever to find TRUE LOVE and enjoy it to its fullest, we must first find the LOVE that Spirit gives before we can ever find love in man or in any other desires.
Are you searching? Whatever it is you are searching for, stop and search instead for God. Your FIRST LOVE. And when you do find Him, and fall in LOVE with Him, you will find more than you ever hoped for, and as you continue to journey with LOVE He will bring you your Prince charming and so much more will be added unto you.
Trust that as you invest your time with Him, He too will invest abundantly in your life.
Until next time, have a blessed Spirit filled week.