I remember when death first knocked close to home; it was the passing of grandma and prior to grandma it was the passing of my uncle and his wife. Grandma’s passing took us all by surprise. Maybe because in my eyes she was most filled with life, nowhere near the arms of death (at the time, death in my eyes showered itself visible) Which wasn’t the case with grandma, she seemed to me to have it all – life and so much more.

Shortly after grandma’s passing dad passed away. Now his death really hit close to home, much closer than it had ever hit. Leaving us shredded into tiny little pieces, shattered in grief, anger and loneliness. The deaths in the family took a toil on grandpa who was at the time frail and some days ill, and a few weeks after dad’s passing, grandpa took his last breathe leaving us for heaven – I say grandpa found life after leaving us, because it was when grandma passed that I sensed that grandpa had left us as well. To see grandpa leave for heaven in my heart meant grandpa found life again .

With the passing of grandma, grandpa, dad and others in the family our family seemed to have fallen into a pit of darkness. Anger, blame, tension and many other ungodly spirits found themselves into our hearts. Aunts and uncles seemed so far as the stars are to us. This spirits of ungodly nature trickled gently into the heart of our family, and in months and years we were no longer as one. I worried for us. I wondered and worried and ached for grandma and grandpa, because I knew without a doubt how hurtful this would be to them.

Months turned into years, and years into a decade still the union of our family seemed so far away. Mother had over the years grown in faith and no doubt there was a visible presence of God in her life. Her relentless prayers and persistence in God and His word is what gave me and am sure our family a desire to keep hoping.

With months and years gone, I also found myself growing closer to God. Searching for heaven and having found it, I found this amazing strength to keep moving and keep hoping. My conversations with Father had also grown into deep deep conversations. Father always encouraged me to trust in Him, and He knew just how to bring me back into His presence whenever I attempted to stray away. Many are the days when I was weak, and many also are the days when He stepped into my heart and became the strength I needed to make it through the day.

As I now look back, as I remember days draped in – utter darkness, loneliness, anger and every ungodly spirit thinkable, I see children making a journey in search of heaven. Because in the midst of it all, beneath the surface filled with ungodly spirits, was this great desire to find our way back home, grandma, grandpa’s and dads passing had in many ways left us all searching and even doubting in the goodness of this world. In the goodness of our God.

Most recently the Lord started a new work in our family and for the first time in years we seem to be back on track. This time more mature in the Lord, and much more stronger at heart. He promises to help us when we ask of Him, and He is doing just that for our family – Restoring everything the devil had purposed to destroy. Hope has finally transitioned into wonder and the miracle of restoration is now ours to enjoy.

The Lord is faithful and many are the days He will allow us to walk through situations like our families, so that He can work on us as individuals in our very own journey. I always knew that we still had love for one another, now I know that we were all in our very on quest – in search of heaven. And if we had never taken that journey, we might never have found heaven and the richness in Him.

There are times and days the Lord will allow you to be tested in ways that you think are most unfair and uncalled for, but can you trust me and walk with Him. Can you trust me and trust in Him. Can you trust me and call on Him because if you do, you will one day come to testify of the wonders of our Lord. He is an awesome God.

Just this past weekend my uncle invited my daughters and I to attend my cousins basketball game. This was not just a basketball game for my daughters and I, this was a testimony of God’s wondrous works, as we witnessed the opening of new doors. In December the Lord opened yet another door for mom and my sisters as my sisters for the first time traveled back to where dad is resting, and reminisced at the wonders of the Lord. They also spent time with our aunts, uncles and cousins which was in itself yet another new door for us. It was to say the least a blessing worth waiting for.

Sometimes it doesn’t make sense. Keep hoping either way. Sometimes it seems so hard, keep trying anyway. Sometimes it seems impossible, keep believing anyway. There is nothing our Lord can not do, but rather He is able to do more than you can ever dream or imagine. My family and I are back on this journey, and in many ways we have found heaven, and in finding heaven we have found Father. The journey will not always be easy, but we have seen the wonders of His works, and there is nothing that will separate us from the Love of our Father.

Until next time

Love you so much: Christine